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Sometimes keeping my cool seems an impossible task. Even Life Coaches get the blues! The past two days have been filled with traffic and what seems like an endless loop of driving and getting nowhere. My tricks of using my gratitude list or a colorful kazoo solo to prevent lapsing into road rage have not been working. What to do?

If I were my own client, I’d suggest deep breathing, listening to upbeat music or soothing myself with reassuring statements (e.g. “there is a home at the other end of the traffic”).  As Alice says in Wonderland, “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.” Maybe it was the heat or the fact that I was once again on the same road, stuck, but I lost my cool today. So, here are some ways to get yourself into a more positive frame of mind AFTER you’ve lost your cool.

• Forgive yourself for losing your cool. Remember that changing negative mindsets and habits requires practice. Even Mozart couldn’t compose a symphony the first time he played a piano. Take it easy and reward yourself for noticing you lost your cool. Set an intention to notice earlier and come up with ways to cool yourself off earlier. It does get easier with practice.
• Commune with nature. After the difficult day at work, commuting home in deadlocked traffic, or wrestling with the daily difficulties, change into comfy clothes and take a walk. Even if you only go as far as the backyard, take a moment to watch the birds or appreciate the perfect symmetry of a flower. In my town, we are fortunate to have a lush greenbelt with springfed creeks. Get your feet wet! If you are a city-dweller, pour some epsom salts in the bathtub or close your eyes and listen to ocean sounds.
• Breathe. Before starting dinner, washing clothes or paying bills, take 5 minutes to focus on your breath. Close your eyes as you inhale. Feel your lungs fill, then let the air go without forcing it. Repeat until you feel calm and centered.
• Find that gratitude list and add at least one item. Are you grateful for your breath? Are you grateful that you can be grateful?
• Release the stress of the day. Worry doesn’t solve problems, action does. When we let go of our problems, our mind opens to solutions. The more we worry, the narrower our options seem to become. As the wise folks in AA say, “Let go & let God.”
• Write a quick blog entry about regaining your cool after lapsing into traffic madness. I feel better, do you?